


And in this world of loneliness, I see your face

by sappycinnamon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Childhood Memories, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Oblivious Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:54:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28917915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sappycinnamon/pseuds/sappycinnamon
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto spar with each other to avoid the loneliness of being the last surviving Uchiha and the jinchuriki. When Naruto asks Sasuke about his first kiss, the boys realize that a happy accident could mean something more. Brief mentions of other characters.
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 18
Kudos: 115





	And in this world of loneliness, I see your face

Sasuke had finally been able to punch Naruto’s last exasperating shadow clone into a puff of nonexistence. He wasted no time in sprinting forward and kicking the real Naruto straight in the chest, taking advantage of his shaky balance and pinning him to the ground with his knees.

“I win,” Sasuke declared in between heavy breaths, his hair falling into his eyes. The fist that he held before Naruto’s flushed face was trembling with fatigue. Naruto remained obstinately silent under his weight, his blue eyes boring into Sasuke’s. Sasuke watched as his own sweat dripped off his forehead and splattered onto Naruto’s forehead. If Naruto was bothered by it, he didn’t mention it.

“Alright… you win this time, Sasuke,” he finally spoke, and his voice sounded strained. “Just get off me already, will ya? You weigh a ton.”

Sasuke lowered his fist slightly, but stayed where he was, hovering over Naruto. He noticed the way his longer black hair contrasted with Naruto’s sunny yellow strands. The clashing colors reminded him of a bumblebee. 

“What do you mean, ‘this time’? I won the first match too, loser,” he said as bitingly as he could, but it didn’t sound as forceful as he would’ve liked. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but sparring with Naruto was starting to become challenging. They’d had two matches before this one, with Sasuke winning the first, and Naruto winning the second. He had suggested having a third match that day because the more training the better, of course. It had absolutely nothing to do with avoiding the alternative, which was returning alone to an empty apartment. 

Naruto rolled his eyes, attempting to wriggle his arms free underneath Sasuke’s thighs. Sasuke only pinned them harder.

What he hadn’t expected was the wet, slippery feeling on Naruto’s tongue gliding against his knuckles as he licked him. 

“Ugh!” Sasuke groaned and pulled away his fist. Naruto used this moment of distraction to free himself from Sasuke’s now limp hold, jumping to his feet swiftly. A cheap escape tactic. 

“You taste like dirt,” Naruto reported sourly. He stuck out his tongue as if it was contaminated, and he began walking in the direction of their supplies. They always kept their weapons and water canteens by an old tree. 

“What did you expect? We’ve been sparring in the dirt the whole day,” Sasuke mumbled, following Naruto. 

Once reaching the ancient, winding tree, he watched Naruto plop himself to the ground gracelessly, leaning against the tree trunk as if it were the only thing that were holding him up. Sasuke followed suit in a more dignified manner, sitting against the tree at Naruto’s right. 

Naruto suddenly shifted to the side, and Sasuke watched him rummage through the contents of their pack. He produced a canteen of water, and handed it to Sasuke wordlessly before retrieving his own bottle.

“Thanks,” he acknowledged dryly before taking a swig. Naruto always did stuff like this without a care, and it irritated him to no end. He wasn’t sure why Naruto’s straightforward selflessness made him feel uneasy. Maybe it was because he was used to doing everything for himself, worrying about himself first before anyone else because he had no one left to care about. He thought Naruto should be the same. He wasn’t.

When Naruto leaned back against the tree, chugging away at his canteen, his leg had spread far enough to brush against Sasuke’s own. Sasuke’s pale skin and Naruto’s loud orange tracksuit were touching from knee to ankle.

Sasuke gave Naruto a sideways look, trying to gauge his reaction to their predicament. The blonde only capped his bottle, wiping at his mouth with his wrist, oblivious as usual. 

He was sure that he and Naruto looked like they should be in two different scenes. Sasuke was frowning, while Naruto had a content smile on his face as he gazed at the blue, cloudless sky above them.

If Naruto wasn’t going to say anything about it, then Sasuke sure as hell wouldn’t. 

“Hey, Sasuke,” Naruto spoke slowly, shattering the silence between them after a few minutes. The cautiousness of his voice caught Sasuke’s attention. 

“Remember that time we kissed at the academy?”

Sasuke nearly choked on the water he was drinking, but he somehow managed to keep his composure by swallowing it down harshly. _Why the hell was he bringing that up?_

“Was that your first kiss?” he asked simply, ignoring Sasuke’s lack of reaction. Sasuke’s ear strained, trying to detect hints of maliciousness or judgement in Naruto’s question. He only recognized curiosity. 

The silence between them stretched and expanded achingly. 

“Don’t act like you can’t hear me, Sasuke. I’m right next to you, y’know,” Naruto said after some time. He was drumming his fingers on his canteen in a rhythmless pattern. 

“Why the hell are you bringing this up, anyway?” Sasuke retorted, refusing to look anywhere in Naruto’s direction. He settled for staring at his feet, but it only made him more conscious of their legs touching. He still wasn’t going to move, though. 

“Why are you answering a question with a question?” 

“You’re doing the same thing now, stupid.” 

Naruto sighed deeply, and his frustration was evident. 

“It’s just that…” Naruto began again, with that careful tone of his that was so unlike his usual self, “you were mine. My first, I mean.” 

Sasuke felt the obvious, scathing reply building up on his tongue. _Of course I was your first idiot. No girl would ever want to kiss someone like you._ It was the sharp remark he was ready to fire, and Sasuke should’ve said it by now. 

So why hadn’t he said it yet?

He turned his head, gazing at the boy who sat beside him. His eyes raked over Naruto’s bright yellow hair, his intense blue eyes, those strange whisker marks that branded him the jinchuriki of the nine tails. Sasuke couldn’t say something that harsh if it wasn’t true, could he? Sure, Naruto was naive, completely careless, and revoltingly cheerful, but he wasn’t… unlovable. He definitely wasn’t bad looking by any means, and he was so easy to talk to, so good-natured, funny even, when given the chance. Sasuke suspected that if Naruto hadn’t been the jinchuriki, girls wouldn’t be so avoidant. 

“You were mine, too.” he finally answered, trying to make his statement and expression as blank as possible. 

“Oh.” 

Sasuke felt the annoyance build up in his chest at Naruto’s vague response. He was the one who started asking these pointless questions in the first place. “Is there a problem?” 

Naruto’s eyes widened. “No! I didn’t mean… it’s not a problem! It’s just I thought that... I don’t know, you had maybe by now...” 

Sasuke narrowed his eyes as Naruto mumbled on. What had Naruto thought, that he’d kissed every girl that had ever thrown themselves his way?

“Are you mad?” Naruto finally asked, his voice taking on a seriousness that made Sasuke raise his eyebrows. 

“Mad that you’re asking me these useless questions?”

“No, I mean… mad that your first kiss was with me?” he finished quickly, lifting his blue eyes to the sky once more.  


The thought had never crossed Sasuke’s mind.

When they’d bumped heads and accidentally kissed that morning in the academy, he had just been… _what had he been?_

Sasuke mentally shook himself. There was no use in thinking about something that could only be used against him whenever he faced Itachi. Dwelling on the past and analyzing his feelings would only give Itachi more things to use against him. That incident had been an annoying mistake, something that Naruto never failed to make. That was all. It meant nothing.

He wasn’t supposed to feel anything from it, and he didn’t. 

“I’m not mad at you,” he said plainly. 

It wasn’t a lie. 

Surprisingly, he watched a small grin blossom on Naruto’s face, his eyes still looking at the sky. What was that idiot smiling about?

“I’m not mad either,” Naruto told him with that goofy grin. 

Sasuke scowled at Naruto, and it only made Naruto smile wider.

“Does that make me weird?” Naruto asked, some of his usual light-heartedness back, but Sasuke had spent enough time with Naruto to know it wasn’t just a usual joke. 

“You’re already weird. These weird questions you’re asking me are only proving my point.” 

Naruto aimed a punch at Sasuke’s shoulder, his smile dimming slightly. 

“Shut up. Did I ever tell you about the time I met Haku without his mask?” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes before shaking his head. It was so like Naruto to go from one unrelated topic to the next. His thought patterns were always too complicated to follow. 

“Remember when Kakashi sensei taught us chakra control, and we had to climb trees, and I fell asleep outside, remember? He woke me up and we picked medicinal herbs together. I had no clue it was him.”

His eyes narrowed as he tried dissecting Naruto’s story. He actually didn’t find it particularly improbable that Naruto would have an entire conversation with an enemy unknowingly. What he hadn’t expected was that Sasuke had missed it, too.

“That girl I passed by was actually Haku?” 

Naruto nodded. “Oh yeah, I forgot! You were there because you came to remind me to eat! Yeah, that was him.” 

“I knew something was strange when I walked by him,” he muttered.

Naruto adjusted his headband. “It’s not like you could’ve known. He looked like a girl.” 

After a beat of silence, Naruto tapped his canteen again. He always had to busy himself with something. “I thought…” Naruto said slowly, as if he were thinking carefully about what he was going to say. 

“I thought he was pretty as a girl. And then when he told me he was a boy, it didn’t really bother me. It didn’t matter because I found him pretty either way. Do you… do you know what I mean by that? It’s kind of like how I feel about Sakura-chan sometimes, but not really.” 

Sasuke felt his brows raise in surprise at Naruto’s words. He was certain that Naruto had just confided in him something critical, even if he couldn’t fully understand it himself. That meant that he trusted Sasuke enough to tell him this. 

The thought alone made him feel wanted, and that wasn’t good for anybody.

He wondered whether Naruto had paid any attention in class when they were taught about these things. The teacher had provided them the information in the most clinical way possible that even Sasuke had wondered if they were talking about something as emotive as sex. On their mission to protect Tazuna, Naruto needed a re-explaining of the Five Great Nations and the shinobi village system. He wouldn’t be surprised if Naruto needed re-explaining about intercourse. Sasuke really really hoped it wouldn’t come to that. 

Then he remembered that Naruto had invented a sexy jutsu. On second thought, that was probably the only class he ever listened to. 

“Naruto,” Sasuke started with a slow inhale, unsure of what to say next. “You’re… it’s all right to feel that way. Lots of people do.” 

“Like who?” Naruto asked excitedly, his eyes widening with interest. 

Sasuke shrugged. “I think Zabuza and Haku felt that way about each other.” 

“I guess so,” Naruto said, still sounding unconvinced and slightly dejected. 

“I think you’re okay, Naruto. It’s not a bad thing,” Sasuke reassured him.

“I don’t think it’s _wrong,”_ Naruto quickly clarified. “I just felt a little confused by it, you know, since nobody really talks about things like that.” He laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “You probably don’t get what I mean by it, at all. You think I’m crazy.” 

Sasuke stiffened at the accusation, and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe because he had always crushed any thought or idea that dared travel along those lines, and locked the pieces up far away, somewhere Itachi’s cruel illusions would never find them when they met again. 

“That’s not true,” Sasuke countered, shutting down every warning sign his mind was flashing at him. He was sick of doing it.

“So you wouldn’t stop being my friend if I… If I had those feelings for _you?”_ Naruto’s voice was the quietest he’d ever heard.

The back of Sasuke’s mind flooded with images he tried to quiet down. Sasuke had a stellar memory, but the memories he had before the annihilation of the Uchiha clan seemed distinctly sharp and dreamlike, as if they were figments of his imagination. He remembered Shisui, the way he used to tug his brother's ponytail, the way they used to stare at each other as if they were the only two people in the world. The fleeting recollection of a blazing summer sun, and Shisui planting soft kisses on Itachi’s forehead when they hadn’t realized Sasuke had followed them to the training grounds. 

He couldn’t trust his near perfect memory, and he despised Itachi more than anything and anyone… but if Shisui had actually felt that way, he didn’t think it was wrong if he felt that way too. 

“I’m still here, listening to your babbling, aren’t I?” 

It was all so sudden, the way Naruto had crawled into his space, moved to kneel right in front of Sasuke, right in between his legs. 

“So you don’t mind this?” Naruto asked excitedly, and the whisker marks around his toothy smile looked like sun rays.

“Don’t make me say it again, Naruto,” he replied calmly, even though his heart fluttered. 

Naruto lifted a hand to Sasuke’s face, cupping his face and tilting it slightly to the side.

Sasuke was not blushing as Naruto observed him with deep eyes, humming appreciatively.

“You know, from this angle, you sorta look like a girl.” 

Sasuke glowered at Naruto’s assessment, making his displeasure clear. He’d been hearing that his whole entire life. Ever since he was little, every person he had ever met asked his mother if he was a girl, and she would always laugh as she said “He’s a boy.” He always hated being seen as something he wasn’t. 

Naruto, as infuriating as ever, laughed, and with his other hand, he smoothened the sharp crease between his brow with his fingertips. “I like the way you look, Sasuke, don’t worry. You always look so…” he trailed off thoughtfully, dragging his fingers down the slope of his nose, just above his lips. His stomach was in knots as he followed the motion.

“Kissable.” 

His breath hitched as Naruto’s lips met his, soft and dry and so eager, and Sasuke could feel the way his chakra thrummed with excitement when he parted his lips and kissed him back. 

They were pressed chest to chest now, and Sasuke felt like he was drunk on the closeness. It felt so different from how he had pinned Naruto during their spar. He lifted a hand to card through Naruto’s thick hair, bringing them closer together. The blonde smiled as his fingers slipped through the short strands, and he giggled into his mouth. When Naruto shifted his position and kissed him with more gusto, Sasuke’s heart felt like it could burst. 

When they finally broke apart, they were panting. Sasuke's gaze swept over Naruto’s face, to see if the kiss had changed anything. The only thing he noticed was that his lips were red and swollen. 

They sat crowded up against each other for a long while, listening to the rustle of the trees. Naruto’s head was tucked under his chin, and Sasuke continued to play with his hair because he wanted to and no one was there to stop him.

“This is much better than sparring,” Naruto concluded with finality, and Sasuke offered him a small smile. 

“How so?” 

Naruto laughed again, picking up his head to kiss him on the tip of his nose and then his mouth once again. Sasuke felt his cheeks heat up at the simplicity of the gesture. 

“Because it’s such an easy win.”

**Author's Note:**

> After rewatching Naruto, Sasuke's character development really got me thinking bc I think it's such an accurate portrayal of navigating love after a trauma. And Naruto is so obviously bi-curious toward Sasuke I couldn't help but write this scenario where these two would just sit down and talk about their damn feelings. I intentionally wrote Sasuke's realization muddled and had him use memories pre-massacre to justify his feelings bc I always felt like even internally, he'd never admit his feelings so directly.


End file.
